Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Man, I feel like a woman

You know, at the start of this, Captain Positive here is thinking - well I'll be off a while I suppose, but I can get plenty of thinking and exercise done and come out this a more complete man.

But with talk of my proposed SHAPE diet and waxing tips for the girls, then a strange revelation on Saturday - I'm beginning to wonder if this is going the other way. You see, as part of one of the rounds, the nurse asked to see my tongue - that's not the revelation - but what followed when she said, oh my - it's really coated isn't it? Is it, was it, why, what, how.... Nothing to worry about of course, I can get you something for that as its a quite common side effect to....get thrush in the mouth. Common, I said, common, to get, to get a wummins fungal problem in the mouth I said.

I mean, excuse me for being sexist - all blokes are you know - but I thought that one was exclusively for women! I know I've had athletes foot and spotted that the cream is just the same as the woman's cream - just different branding for the consumer to avoid mix-ups over thrush foot or vaginal athletics.

Regardless of today's chosen name for it though, yet another mouthwash type thing it is. That's three I'm using now.

You see, the dentist when she was helping me with my jaggy bit, my sensitive bit and my boggy bit also came up with a mouthwash to supplement my now regular salt-water rinse. And, for those of you old enough to recall - its the real deal. Remember that foul tasting pink stuff the dentist used to give you to rinse with in the days when your mum bought lucozade in a yellow crinkly wrapper from the chemist - yeah that stuff. Don't swallow she said. Never in danger. It feels like it's stripping back a coat of gum each time. Its just a matter of getting them in the right order and not too soon after brushing, with the funny wee toothbrush she gave me (tell you another time) or having a drink.

Anyway, must go now and pump iron. Later.

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