Monday, 30 November 2009

As Tonto might have said... chemo savvy.

Yes, its me, home again home again, older, wiser, but not really any balder. Girls, it seems that the effect is more sporadic than I thought; one nurse confided in me that her sister lost all of her hair during chemo - except on her legs! Maybe my steroid for hair and appearance (SHAPE) diet needs more research.

Biggest lesson from last week was really about the dehydration; meant 5 nights in rather than 4. Though this did allow me time to Cycle Home from Siberia (good read with unexpected sideline comparing religions en route), complete some nasty Awaydays and start to Thank You For the Days.

Lots of visitors, lots of sweets and won lots of biscuits from Hospital Radio for winning their competitions. Haven't been able to face sweets or biscuits since last Wednesday though.

Thursday, 26 November 2009

Golden Showers

Update on 23/11

There's been a delay on drugs with real powers
And they've put me off for 24 hours
Apparently my hydration levels were really low
So saline and dextrose have been on full flow

My message refers to the dual effect
One of which happens more quickly than you expect
Are you there with no the need to speculate?
If not, find the meaning - to micturate

Sunday, 22 November 2009

Two pricks, a fat foot and a Brazilian...

I encountered two pricks at the GP's on Thursday, the practice nurse was very gentle with them though and gave me one in each arm. Flu schmu, its a foofaraw, between me and you. Getting there was colder and wetter, but even after I've never felt better.

Now though its something that I don't want to shout
I'm known to experience the odd bout of gout
Not booze but dehydration is primary cause
And theories about bad living are a load of ba's

The problem you see was my normal cure
Its non-steroidal, max strength and pure
But my Unc Ologist told last time I was in
"afraid those chaps, need to go in the bin"

Been phoning round before its too fat for a shoe
'Cos hopping down on Monday just ain't going to do
But help was at hand, well down a phone line
"take the other stuff with codeine, and you should be fine"

It is so far so good, I have to say
More drugs to take uninvited swellings away
And now that the boot is on the other foot
No excuses when, for the Western, it time to scoot.

Girls, I've found another idea for you to add the diet one. I've not been waxing but seem to be losing body hair every day. From everywhere. I reckon you could DIY with sellotape and save a fortune on waxing! As I said, I've not been, but Neil was right about losing some hair - it does...

btw Apparently you can get something to keep you head cold and stop hair loss. I'm not pushing of for it though.

Penelope Cruz came to me last week...

..via Lovefilm. Volver is a Spanish movie by Almondovar - bit spiritual, bit suspense and bit of tongue in cheek aimed at local customs. 4 out 5 I'd say. And, no not just because of her.

She was squeezed in with Lives of Others and the Last King of Scotland. 4 out of 5 each too. Also watched No Country for Old Men, pretty good but maybe doesn't get 4 as I'd read the book first.

Monday, 16 November 2009

This last week, mostly I have been...

..eating. Those steroids must do something to your metabolism.

Even though I've done zero exercise I think I'm a couple of pounds lighter, but have had sweeties, cakes, ice cream and even late night chocolate. Girls? Want to trim those buttocks without all that exercise nonsense...

It seems that the hair thing is starting too. Pulled out the clippers when I got home as my fringe was getting to that fluffy stage, but its not grown and I noticed that not having shaved for 3 days has finally got me that designer stubble look. Perhaps I could emerge from all this as a handsome bloke...all I need now is major cosmetic surgery to my nose, cheeks and chins.

Oh aye, and I signed up for lovefilm since I'll be in a lot. The Lives of Others was reet good.

Wednesday, 11 November 2009


Home until 23rd November. The idea is to let the strong stuff drain away, before you hit it again.

Think of it like recovering from a very heavy week on the sauce, shocker of a hangover that takes 7-10 days to peak(!), then just when you're feeling fighting fit - you go for another week long bender.

Still, mustn't grumble. In fact, quite the opposite. First its the neighbours feeding the boys and Anne to help with her busy schedule as a visitor, then visitors, then a topper of a cake from a another mum, then today a barrow-load of books from my closest chums at work. I tell you, if I had a glass eye...

Monday, 9 November 2009


Me, PJs & slippers reported Western General on the 2nd as per the invite. Will they delay? Will they go ahead? Should I have cut my hair?

Uncologist didn't even blink, "it's all logisitcs, you see". So before you know it, there's a young lady in a nurse outfit asking if I'd like to try some new drugs. They're such a hit that I find I'm instantly hooked. In fact, they have such an affect that you find yourself taking other ones to counter the effect. Then yet more to counter the effect of the ones to counter the effect. And prunes.

Passing the time is probably the biggest challenge, once you ignore the needle in your hand that's attached to a tube that's attached to a sort of coat stand on wheels that you take with you everywhere. Everywhere.

What else to mention? Lights, beeps, visitors, texts, reading, day-time TV, more queasy than a partly fried egg on top of a hangover, e-mails, sweeties, Connor & the toes, neat stitches and Helen's ungrouted tiles do it little justice.

Home Friday night. Still wabbit & queasy, so taking it easy.

Christmas list

The other thing that happened between dentist visits was that a letter arrived inviting me to the Western General the following Monday. Slow slow, quick, quick, quick!

If it did start then, with Chemo for 5 days starting every 21st day, then I'd be out for Christmas. Problem is what to ask for since I had buy PJs and slippers on the Saturday just in case. Hadn't really had either since I lived with my mummy and it felt a bit of a strain to part with money for clothes to wear to bed. Quick dance near changing room exit with PJs on and hamster face got my lot smiling, and very strange look from bloke browsing coats.

Incidentally, I rarely shop at Debenhams and wasn't tempted by their 'take out a store card you don't need today and we'll give you 5% off', until I got to the till. £60, or if you take out..., it'll be £12.75 less. Eh? Money's money so find myself in the sign up panto. But, am rewarded by being charged £40.10. I tell you, these store cards really are jolly good value you know. Take the discount, pay the bill, chop the card. ps It was Santander finance, so you lot aren't paying for it either.


Well, the things you learn. The consultation to confirm my news drew such a large crowd that Anne had sit at the side of the stalls. 1 for this 1 for that and, as I've said, a dentist? The thing is you see, once someone has fired some nuclear device at your throat every day for a month or so, you dry up. This makes healing after dentist work problematic. So, do it now just in case.

Children out there - brush your teeth.

My young boy decay and healthy load of fillings certainly gave rise to a few eyebrows. Initial conclusion was to get an x-ray done and return next day. "ah, that's the fist time I've seen a horizontal wisdom tooth under the gum at back." I half form the thought, "hmmm, this may slow things a bit" whilst the dentist gets
to the punch-line, then find myself agreeing to a general anaesthetic for all work to be done the day after next.

So 48hrs later and pleasant young Dr is explaining the drill. Dig em out, stitch you up, send you home. Its all going swimmingly as they administer the anaesthetic, but then I wake to find I've become a little problematic. Whatever, it's not home, but a sleepover instead. Dr packs me off next day with news that "we had a wee bit more trouble than expected" and a goody bag large enough to sedate an elephant. "You've a face like a hamster", is the quote of the day as I get home.

Sunday, 1 November 2009

Are you sitting comfortably? Then let me begin...

...with a brief history; swollen gland in neck. Still swollen gland. GP. Edinburgh Royal Infirmary (ERI). ERI for MRI. Vague letter telling me that I have swollen glands in neck. Really? ENT for closer look. Hmmm. ENT for even closer look with a General Anaesthetic and CT Scan. Confirmed tumour in throat. To be nuked,but some dentistry first!

I'll do an separate note on dentistry because it has been a real revelation!